Finding The Right Counsellor
Finding the Right Counsellor: What to Look For (and What to Watch Out For)
Starting counselling can feel like a big and vulnerable step. You’re opening up about deeply personal things — often ones you haven’t shared with anyone else. So, finding a counsellor you can truly trust matters. Unfortunately, that can also be one of the trickiest parts of the process.
Why It’s Hard to Find the “Right Fit”
Every counsellor brings a unique blend of training, personality, and approach to therapy. What feels supportive and safe for one person might feel uncomfortable or unhelpful for another.
It’s not just about credentials, though those are important, it’s also about fit. You might meet a counsellor who is technically skilled but doesn’t quite “get” you, or one who feels warm and kind but lacks the experience you need for your particular challenges.
And then there’s the overwhelm, so many therapy types, titles, and acronyms: CBT, DBT, EFT, trauma-informed, somatic, Gottman, and the list goes on. It can be hard to know what’s meaningful and what’s marketing jargon.
The truth is, a competent counsellor doesn’t expect you to know all of that. Their role is to meet you where you are, explain their approach in plain language, and help you decide together if it’s a good fit.
What a Counsellor Can and Should Do
A qualified counsellor should:
Create a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings.
Listen actively and with empathy, without rushing to “fix” you.
Work collaboratively, counselling should feel like teamwork, not a lecture.
Explain their methods and boundaries clearly, so you understand what to expect.
Respect your pace, allowing you to open up when you’re ready.
Offer tools and insights that empower you to make changes or find clarity in your life.
A good counsellor helps you feel seen, not small; understood, not evaluated.
What a Counsellor Should Not Do
Counselling isn’t advice-giving or friendship, and a professional therapist should never blur those lines. A counsellor should not:
Tell you what to do with your life or make decisions for you.
Judge, shame, or criticize you for your thoughts or choices.
Talk excessively about their own personal issues.
Push you into topics you’re not ready to explore.
Cross ethical boundaries — such as forming a personal relationship outside of sessions.
If something in your sessions ever feels off, it’s okay to talk about it. In fact, a good counsellor will welcome that feedback and use it to strengthen the therapeutic relationship.
You Deserve a Good Fit
It’s perfectly okay to meet with a few different counsellors before deciding who feels right. Think of it as interviewing someone for an important role, because that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re choosing someone to walk alongside you during some of your most personal and vulnerable moments.
At Calm Waters Counselling Service, I believe counselling should feel like a calm space to breathe, reflect, and rediscover your strength. If you’ve had a difficult experience with counselling in the past, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you — it might just mean you haven’t found your fit yet.
When you do, it can make all the difference.
Ready to Explore Counselling?
If you’re curious about whether we might be a good fit to work together, I offer a space that’s warm, respectful, and focused on what matters most to you. There’s no pressure, just an opportunity to connect and see if it feels right.