How to Know When It’s Time to Start Therapy

Starting therapy is a deeply personal decision. For many people, the question isn’t “Do I need therapy?” but rather “Is now the right time?” You might notice a quiet sense that something feels off, or that life has become heavier than usual. You may also be functioning day-to-day, yet still feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure of how to navigate the challenges in front of you.

If any of that resonates, you’re not alone. Therapy isn’t only for moments of crisis—often, it’s about preventing those moments, strengthening your emotional foundation, and giving yourself the support you deserve. Here are a few signs that it might be the right time to reach out.

1. You’re feeling overwhelmed more often than usual

Everyone experiences stress, but when it begins to feel constant or unmanageable, it’s a sign worth paying attention to. If you notice you’re spending more time trying to “push through” than feeling grounded, therapy can help you slow down, understand what’s happening internally, and rebuild stability step-by-step.

2. You’ve noticed changes in your mood, motivation, or sleep

Shifts like increased irritability, fatigue, anxiety, or difficulty concentrating are often early cues from your mind and body. You don’t need to wait until these concerns escalate. Therapy offers a space to explore these changes without judgment and learn strategies to support your emotional and physical well-being.

3. Your relationships are feeling more strained

Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or friend, tension often grows when we’re carrying more than we realize. You may find yourself withdrawing, snapping more easily, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you understand your patterns, communicate more clearly, and rebuild safety and connection.

4. You’re feeling stuck—personally, professionally, or emotionally

Feeling stuck is frustrating and lonely. Maybe you’ve tried to help yourself, but nothing seems to shift. Therapy can help you sort through the noise, identify underlying needs, and create a path forward that feels intentional and sustainable.

5. You’re navigating a life transition

Transitions—big or small—can bring up unexpected emotions. Starting a new job, adjusting to parenthood, experiencing loss, ending a relationship, moving, or caring for a loved one can all invite a mix of uncertainty and pressure. Therapy offers support, perspective, and grounding during these periods of change.

6. You’re dealing with anxiety, ADHD, or emotional regulation challenges

If you’re feeling overextended, overwhelmed by your thoughts, or struggling with focus, impulsivity, or emotional intensity, therapy can provide both understanding and practical tools. Many people come to counselling simply because they want to feel more in control of their inner world.

7. You want a space that is just for you

You don’t need to be struggling to benefit from therapy. Many people seek counselling because they want a dedicated place to reflect, grow, process, and understand themselves more deeply. Therapy can be a steady, compassionate space where you can pause and reconnect with who you are and who you want to be.

If you’re wondering whether it’s time, it might be

The moment you start questioning whether you could benefit from support is often the moment you’re already carrying more than you should alone. Therapy doesn’t have to be a last resort—it can be a proactive, empowering step toward clarity and emotional well-being.

If you’re curious about what counselling with me looks like—whether individually, as a couple, virtually, or through Walk and Talk therapy—I’m here to answer questions and help you decide what feels right for you.

You deserve support that feels safe, compassionate, and attuned to your needs. Whenever you're ready, I’m here.

Compassionate Fee Agreements in Counselling

Compassionate Fee Agreements: Caring for You and the Work

Money and therapy, two things that can feel a little uncomfortable to talk about. But in counselling, where honesty and openness are key, it’s actually really important that we can talk about both with the same level of care and respect.

That’s where compassionate fee agreements come in. They’re about finding a balance between what’s fair for you as a client and what allows your counsellor to keep offering quality, sustainable care. It’s not about discounts or exceptions — it’s about understanding and respect.

What Does “Compassionate Fee Agreement” Mean?

A compassionate fee agreement is a clear, collaborative understanding of session costs and policies. It acknowledges that financial realities can vary, and that talking about money doesn’t have to be stressful or shame-filled.

It’s essentially a way of saying:

“We’re in this together. Let’s find an arrangement that supports your wellbeing while also allowing this work to continue sustainably.”

It’s part of the relationship, built on honesty, boundaries, and empathy.

Why It Matters

Money can be an emotionally loaded topic. For some people, it’s tied to anxiety, guilt, or fear of judgment. Bringing compassion into fee discussions helps take that weight off.

When you and your counsellor talk openly about cost and expectations, a few important things happen:

• You know what to expect financially, which reduces stress and surprises.

• You learn that it’s okay to bring up uncomfortable topics — even outside therapy.

• You experience what healthy, respectful boundaries look like in real life.

In other words, how we talk about money in therapy is part of the therapeutic process.

What Compassion Looks Like in Practice

Compassionate fee agreements might include things like:

• Sliding scale or reduced-fee spots — for those going through financial strain.

• Clear communication about fees and policies — so there’s no confusion or awkwardness later on.

• Flexibility when life happens — because sometimes circumstances change, and a check-in can help us stay aligned.

• Mutual respect for cancellations and time — valuing both your time and your counsellor’s equally.

It’s all about clarity and kindness.

The Bigger Picture

Therapy is a relationship built on trust. When we can approach practical matters — like fees — with compassion, we strengthen that trust. It shows that care doesn’t stop at the emotional work; it extends into every part of the process.

A compassionate fee agreement is ultimately an act of respect — for you, your counsellor, and the work you’re both doing together.

Because healing isn’t just about what happens in the session. It’s also about how we show up for each other, communicate honestly, and handle the everyday parts of life with grace and understanding.

Finding The Right Counsellor

Finding the Right Counsellor: What to Look For (and What to Watch Out For)

Starting counselling can feel like a big and vulnerable step. You’re opening up about deeply personal things — often ones you haven’t shared with anyone else. So, finding a counsellor you can truly trust matters. Unfortunately, that can also be one of the trickiest parts of the process.

Why It’s Hard to Find the “Right Fit”

Every counsellor brings a unique blend of training, personality, and approach to therapy. What feels supportive and safe for one person might feel uncomfortable or unhelpful for another.

It’s not just about credentials, though those are important, it’s also about fit. You might meet a counsellor who is technically skilled but doesn’t quite “get” you, or one who feels warm and kind but lacks the experience you need for your particular challenges.

And then there’s the overwhelm, so many therapy types, titles, and acronyms: CBT, DBT, EFT, trauma-informed, somatic, Gottman, and the list goes on. It can be hard to know what’s meaningful and what’s marketing jargon.

The truth is, a competent counsellor doesn’t expect you to know all of that. Their role is to meet you where you are, explain their approach in plain language, and help you decide together if it’s a good fit.

What a Counsellor Can and Should Do

A qualified counsellor should:

• Create a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings.

• Listen actively and with empathy, without rushing to “fix” you.

• Work collaboratively, counselling should feel like teamwork, not a lecture.

• Explain their methods and boundaries clearly, so you understand what to expect.

• Respect your pace, allowing you to open up when you’re ready.

• Offer tools and insights that empower you to make changes or find clarity in your life.

A good counsellor helps you feel seen, not small; understood, not evaluated.

What a Counsellor Should Not Do

Counselling isn’t advice-giving or friendship, and a professional therapist should never blur those lines. A counsellor should not:

• Tell you what to do with your life or make decisions for you.

• Judge, shame, or criticize you for your thoughts or choices.

• Talk excessively about their own personal issues.

• Push you into topics you’re not ready to explore.

• Cross ethical boundaries — such as forming a personal relationship outside of sessions.

If something in your sessions ever feels off, it’s okay to talk about it. In fact, a good counsellor will welcome that feedback and use it to strengthen the therapeutic relationship.

You Deserve a Good Fit

It’s perfectly okay to meet with a few different counsellors before deciding who feels right. Think of it as interviewing someone for an important role, because that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re choosing someone to walk alongside you during some of your most personal and vulnerable moments.

At Calm Waters Counselling Service, I believe counselling should feel like a calm space to breathe, reflect, and rediscover your strength. If you’ve had a difficult experience with counselling in the past, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you — it might just mean you haven’t found your fit yet.

When you do, it can make all the difference.

Ready to Explore Counselling?

If you’re curious about whether we might be a good fit to work together, I offer a space that’s warm, respectful, and focused on what matters most to you. There’s no pressure, just an opportunity to connect and see if it feels right.

The Real Benefits of Couples Counselling (and Why It’s Not as Scary as You Think)

When most people hear the words “couples counselling”, their minds immediately leap to dramatic scenes of finger-pointing, tissues flying, and someone storming out of the room. (Thanks a lot, Hollywood.) In reality, counselling is far less theatrical—and far more effective—than many couples expect.

So, let’s bust some myths, calm a few fears, and talk about why couples counselling might just be the relationship tune-up you didn’t know you needed.

Common Fears and Misconceptions

1. “The counsellor will take sides.”
Many couples worry that the therapist will secretly have a favorite. The truth? My loyalty isn’t to either of you—it’s to your relationship as a whole. Think of it like hiring a personal trainer—you don’t want them rooting for just one of your muscles.

2. “We must be on the brink of divorce to need counselling.”
Nope. Counselling isn’t just crisis management—it’s also prevention and maintenance. Just like you don’t wait until your car’s engine explodes to get an oil change, you don’t need to wait for your relationship to hit rock bottom before seeking help.

3. “Talking about our problems will just make them worse.”
Avoidance might feel safer, but it usually lets problems grow roots. Counselling provides a structured space where issues are handled carefully, without the usual shouting matches or icy silent treatments.

4. “It will be awkward.”
Fair point—sharing feelings can be uncomfortable. But awkwardness usually fades after the first session. Plus, awkward is often the birthplace of progress (and, let’s be honest, most couples have survived much more awkward moments, like meeting each other’s parents or arguing in IKEA).

The Benefits of Couples Counselling

1. Better Communication (and Fewer Misunderstandings)
You’ll learn how to actually hear each other instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. Spoiler alert: it turns out your partner isn’t a mind reader.

2. Tools for Healthy Conflict
Conflict is inevitable. (If you’ve never argued, one of you is probably a robot.) Counselling helps you learn how to disagree without causing damage—kind of like learning how to fence with foam swords instead of chainsaws.

3. Stronger Emotional Connection
Beyond solving problems, counselling can help couples rediscover warmth, intimacy, and friendship. It’s about remembering why you liked each other in the first place, not just negotiating chores.

4. Breaking Negative Cycles
Every couple has a “dance”—maybe it’s the same fight over laundry, finances, or in-laws. Counselling helps you notice these patterns and change the steps so you stop stepping on each other’s toes.

5. Future-Proofing Your Relationship
Life throws curveballs—kids, job changes, aging parents. Counselling equips you with skills to handle future challenges as a team rather than adversaries.

Final Thoughts

Couples counselling isn’t about declaring winners and losers. It’s about strengthening the partnership so both people feel seen, heard, and valued. Yes, it may feel intimidating to start—but most couples leave sessions saying some version of: “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

If you and your partner have been thinking about it (or quietly Googling this at midnight), this is your sign. You don’t need to wait for things to fall apart before asking for support.

I’d be honored to help you and your partner navigate challenges, strengthen your bond, and rediscover the parts of your relationship that feel worth holding onto.

Ready to get started?

Demystifying Nature Based Therapy (Walk and Talks)

What It Is, Isn’t, and Why It Works

When you think of counselling, you might picture a quiet office, two chairs, maybe a box of tissues on a side table. But what if therapy didn’t have to be that way? What if, instead, it happened outdoors, while moving your body, breathing fresh air, and taking in the rhythm of your steps?

Walk and talk counselling is a growing therapeutic approach that blends traditional talk therapy with the physical and emotional benefits of walking in nature or other outdoor settings. Still, it’s often misunderstood. Let’s explore some common misconceptions, tackle concerns about confidentiality, and highlight the unique benefits this approach offers.

Common Misconceptions About Walk and Talk Therapy

1. “It’s just a walk—it’s not real therapy.”
This is perhaps the biggest myth. Walk and talk counselling is still professional, evidence-based therapy. The same therapeutic models and techniques (like CBT, mindfulness, or emotion-focused approaches) are applied—just in a different setting. It’s not casual chit-chat; it’s structured and intentional.

2. “I have to be physically fit to do it.”
Not at all. Walk and talk sessions are paced according to your comfort. You can walk slowly, pause often, or even find a bench and sit if needed. It’s about movement and environment, not athleticism.

3. “It’s only for nature lovers.”
While many sessions take place on trails or quiet parks, walk and talk therapy can also happen in urban green spaces or waterfront paths. You don’t need to be an avid hiker—just open to trying something a little different.

Addressing Confidentiality Concerns

Understandably, many people wonder, “What if I run into someone I know?”

While privacy is never absolute outdoors, therapists take great care in choosing less-trafficked paths and discussing potential scenarios ahead of time. You and your counsellor can agree on what to say or do if you encounter someone familiar—whether that means continuing the conversation, pausing, or simply saying you're on a walk.

Some clients actually find this part empowering. They learn to take up space, prioritize their wellbeing, and slowly let go of the idea that seeking support needs to be hidden.

Why Walk and Talk Therapy Can Be So Effective

1. Movement Supports Emotional Processing
Walking activates both sides of the brain, helping with emotional regulation, clarity, and creative problem-solving. Many people find they can express themselves more freely when they’re side by side rather than face to face.

2. Nature Calms the Nervous System
Being in natural settings has been shown to lower cortisol levels, reduce anxiety, and improve mood. For clients who feel overwhelmed or stuck in traditional settings, this can be a game changer.

3. It Combines Physical and Mental Health
Therapy outdoors can gently encourage people who feel stagnant, depressed, or anxious to reconnect with their body and breath. For some, it’s the first step toward reclaiming their sense of vitality.

4. It Can Feel Less Intimidating
The informality of walking can help ease the pressure of eye contact or the feeling of being “on the spot.” Many clients report feeling more at ease and less self-conscious in outdoor sessions.

Is It Right for You?

Walk and talk therapy isn’t a fit for every person or every situation. But if you enjoy being outdoors, want to try a more embodied form of counselling, or find traditional settings too rigid, it might be worth exploring.

Therapy doesn’t have to happen in a box. Sometimes, the path to healing is quite literally a path.

If you're curious about whether walk and talk counselling is right for you, feel free to reach out for a consultation. We can discuss what you’re looking for and how this approach might support your goals.